I contemplated whether or not to write about this journey in a private journal, or here on a blog. Obviously, the blog won out. Hopefully, prayerfully, someone will find encouragement here. Maybe it will influence someone... I can only hope. :)
Deciding to become a stay at home daughter was an awkward choice for me. My home life probably isn't typical to other girls who make this choice. I was not saved young, I've experienced a lot (read: too much) of the world, I only homeschooled my senior year as God led... For some reason, these things make me feel inferior to other ladies who have always lived such a lifestyle as the one I'm pursuing. BUT praise be to the Lord, He gives us clean starts. Not only does He give us a new chapter in life, He gives us an entirely new book!
My first step towards this decision was to talk to my parents. They didn't quite understand what I was getting at to begin with, but after much discussion (and showing them a few blogs of other girls making similar choices) they have accepted and given total consent. This is a huge weight off of my shoulder. The world is good at making us feel like we are obligated to work and be career women, so taking another path is scary! Knowing that my parents are supportive makes it seem possible.
So I got past that and then I was left with a "Well, now what?" feeling. I started to look around my life and try to decide what I had been neglecting. Things that I knew would help my family. So, I cleaned the bathroom. (That may sound silly, but it felt monumental.) I scrubbed that place like karate kid, and it felt really great. I did that without being told simply because I knew it needed to be done. So try, if you would, to understand my point. Cleaning the bathroom wasn't really all that big of a deal, but it was a first step towards responsibility and serving my family.
I've moved now to organizing and doing some nitty gritty work on my bedroom. I'm putting things where they belong, giving everything a home, throwing away tons of hoopla I don't need. It's very refreshing, and it's encouraging. By God's grace I can be a help to my family, I can train myself to be a servant to God, and I can prepare myself for being a homemaker. The Lord is very, very good!
The first steps have been taken, and I can't wait to see where God will take me from here! <3 :)